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Thursday, 28 July 2011

Gaming.

As promised, tonights bumper 'I want to go to bed despite it only being midnight and I am nocturnal but I need to stay up and write a blog' edition of Raging Time.

Todays special features is:

Gaming: Things that I want to watch burn and die a horrible death.

I know I'll have sympathy with this one from people across the world. Every game type has them. Every single one. Be it MMO, FPS, RPG, whatever. You will always, always, always have a preteen screaming down the microphone or typing furiously with his tiny spider hands the stupidest, inane shit. 'OMG U HAXED DAT MAN'. 'CHEETER'. They cannot stand to be beaten. They cannot be humble, they cannot SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. For one fucking second. When not slurping on pepsi and chomping on sugar cubes, they spend the entire gaming session typing with incredible speed and offering the most banal, irrelevant, boring shit comments as though everybody wants to hear what they have to say. 'I LVLED UP GAIS'. I don't care, little Tommy. I just want to play my game without my eyes/ears being ruined by stupid comments and a voice which is so high pitched my dog farts and ejaculates in surprise. I propose a ban on computer games until the age of 16, minimum. Or at least a gagging order. A super injunction against these pointless bastards.

My next gripe is when game producers release an unfinished game. What is the point? Seriously? I'm paying £45.99 to put a disk into my PS3 and stare at a 'update needed' screen for the next few weeks. Sort out the bugs and the glitches BEFORE release. The amount of glitches and bugs in some games that are released are unbelievable, it's like a fucking alpha version, not even a beta release. Make the game good and THEN fucking release it. I don't mind waiting an extra month to have a good game rather than spend 6 months playing one that is constantly getting a little bit better bit by fucking bit.

Similarly, I despise the companies (I'M LOOKINGA AT YOU EA SPORTS) that release the same game OVER AND FUCKING OVER AGAIN. Take Fifa 09/10/11. There is NO FUCKING CHANGE. The graphics are the same. The chants the same. You've updated a few kits and player names/transfers. Well fucking done. You have a year to work on this, make it a little bit different. I'm paying £30-40 for what is basically a fucking upgrade because the fucking game never even changes. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR? Jesus Christ.

15 comments:

  1. I loathe those yearly sports games. I can't fathom the mind of a person who would buy a new one each year. They're like aliens to me.

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  2. Ugh, children shouldn't be allowed on the internet, period.
    Also, Fifa is just Fifa. The only reason it sells is because the same kids pick it up over and over and over again.
    Tech Me

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  3. Let me tell you this, the minute i get rich, i will give you a call and offer you a TV show hahahaha

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  4. I wish i had a my ps3 still :(

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  5. i preffer the old school vintage arcade games :)

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  6. ArmA is horrible about mic chatter, drives me insane.

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  7. Seriously, your blog's awesome.
    I came here and gave a lot of laughs.
    And all you said it's true about the people screaming on the mic. DEAR GOD.

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  8. Yeah I couldn't deal with all that. I haven't really been in the gaming scene since Golden Eye though. So yeah it's been a LONG time. Awesome rant though!
    +followed

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  9. the updates get me excited. i like to see whats new

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  10. lol this was the best so far. keep em coming!

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  11. I cannot STAND online gaming for that very reason. Pisses me off and raises my blood pressure. HATE.

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  12. they spend the money made from the last year sells bro.

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  13. bro i love your blog! haha! great post!

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  14. haha! I'm definitely with you on banning online gaming for kids under 16...

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