Sorry about my absence loyal followers, I have been busy trying to keep a lovely lady happy, get a tan, get a degree and break drinking records in a very short space of time, so that is why I have been mysteriously silent.
Anyhow, back to business.... Today's blog will be about UNIVERSITY.
There are not many things I dislike about university if I'm honest. I love the degree I do (Geography and Natural Hazard Management... effectively looking at stuff blowing up and talking about what to do when it blows up), have many great friends and have an excuse to drink heavily every week. But some things are not so good.
Things like the scheduling of lectures by an inconsiderate chimp in an office somewhere. I have an entire week free but you decide I would find it really handy having a lecture at 9am on a Monday morning. Or at a stupid time like 7PM in the evening. Why do you feel the need to drag my out of bed at that UNGODLY hour? I have a cynical theory that the person who designs the timetables has a private vendetta against me. It sounds paranoid but it's the only feasible explanation as to why I have been given lectures at stupid times consistently for 3 years. Why not a reasonable time like 1PM? No, it's much funnier getting up at 8AM, clambering into a freezing cold broken shower in a house with rarely activated central heating. Much funnier.
Having to go to lectures you blatently don't need to attend because the lecturer is an incompetant, dull, lazy moron who simply reads out the various bulletpoints in a powerpoint presentation in a morbid, time-stretching, suicide-considering tone whilst vaguely gesturing into thin air and providing no real information whatsoever. If I stayed at home and downloaded the Powerpoint, I would know just as much as I gained from the lecture. In fact, I'd probably know more as I would fully read the presentation whereas by the 3rd slide in a lecture, I have normally lost interest and decided to daydream about executions, torture and other justifications.
People who wait until the last second of a lecture to ask a banal question requiring a huge, dull, time-ebbing answer. I think you can assume when everybody has packed away their belongings, they are ready to go and don't really care what the answer to your irrelevant question is. Save it until everybody has gone and ask when the session has ended if you're really dying to know the answer. Or ask during a presentation. Not 0.1 milliseconds before everybody is allowed to stand up, therefore keeping everybody sat in the sweatbox lecture theatre 10 minutes more than necessary. I've spent 4 hours sat down, please shut the fuck up and let me go home.